Monday, February 27, 2012

Quick Update

Hanging out with my family, still traveling.
Had Crepes from a real Creperie, it's amazing how many dumb phrases you can make from the word crepe.
"I'm having a crepe time."
"These are so crepey."
I'm doing a night with just my brother. I guess we're going to go get sushi and hang out in one of the more "happening" areas of our neck of the woods.

Other than that, been seriously stressed. So many changes taking place I can't keep up with them all. Constantly nauseous and totally unenthusiastic about what lies ahead.

Friday, February 24, 2012

Blogging from the Road

I'm in my hometown doing my thing.
It's going to be quiet for a little as you know, I'm LIKE BUSY.
I'll check in here and there and I'll give you the full report once I leave.

Love and Light Peepholes.

Saturday, February 18, 2012

Mario Day

So, like I said we got a package from Steve's Mom.
Most of the stuff was for Steve's Birthday - all Mario stuff.
He was like, really good tournament level player who could play with his eyes closed.
So Mario is kind of a big deal around here.

I don't know if any of you guys have ever had a theme day for instance if you like Jellyfish you would have a Jelly fish day? We took all his gifts and had a Mario Day.
-Built the Mario Lego Car (pictured below)
-Ate Mario Candy
-Watched Mario
-Played Mario
-Wore Mario Clothes
-Had Spaghetti (Mario's Favorite!)
-Had Star Shaped Sugar Cookies... 

The kids had so much fun.

Wednesday, February 15, 2012

In the spirit of the crane

So, since I've shared my love of cranes with you...
I plan on doing these 1000 (sounds real fun - and a waste of trees) to be exact.

Valentine's Day

So we got a gift from Steve's mom and she put a little scrapbook in there for the girls to do.

So we did that

We also did a bunch of little heart themed crafts

They had fun. It was fun - tons of stickers and glorious glue... you can see in the last picture my younger daughter holding the glue... it really was scary.

I babysat last night. (I do that, babysit) and the lady I babysit for brought cookies!


I did a bunch of crafts while they were here. Mostly stickers because that translates across the age divide. We read some Valentines Books and finished it off with Barney's Valentine which no one watched because they were all pretending to be puppies. 

I ended the night with one of these

Ayala's Herbal Water is so good!

That was my Valentine's Day. I hope yours was great!

A Story

A long time ago ( a whole year almost :D) me and my sister in law went to the museum in my hometown.
There is a creek that runs along the outside and we were walking.
We see a bird a really big bird and we think it's a crane... (Do you know the significance of the crane?)
Totally absurd because of the geographical region
But we follow it and spook it and follow it and photograph it and are in a state of disbelief.
We get to the end of the little trail and there's some people there talking about the bird... the bird was a Heron.

OK so we were wrong.
And there's a moral to the story.
We chase things in life, shadows, dreams, whatever.
We chase them and sometimes when it's all over... what we were chasing wasn't what we thought it was.
It doesn't make it less beautiful or less important. It's just a matter of accepting something for what it is.

Monday, February 13, 2012

A Fun Post

Facebook is such a time suck...
somehow people were able to ask questions about me in 21 Questions - 154 to be exact.
Of course to see who answered them you have to pay which I am totally above or you can answer questions about other people ... like 100 to unlock one answer. Now you see how this vicious cycle works.
The answers are both hilarious and flattering and the questions go from silly to ridiculous to absolutely offensive.
I am going to post all the questions and the answers that people have given for me.
-Do you think ___ has ever kissed a guy ? YES

-Would you give ___ a fist bump? YES

-Would you say what's up to ____? YES

-Would you introduce ___ to your family? YES

-Do you think ____ should do laundry more often? NO
(Obviously they don't know me well enough)

-Do you think ____ 'plays with themselves? NO

-Do you think ____ is cool? YES

-Do you think ___ smells? NO

-Do you think that ____ would secretly fart in public? YES

-Would you give ____ a fist bump? YES

-Do you think _____ grinds their teeth while sleeping? YES

-Do you think ____ can hook up with someone out of their league? YES
(wrong question.. because no one is out of my league)

-Do you think ____ should pass on the chocolate cake? NO

-Is ____ a cheap skate? NO

-Do you think ____ would look good in a bikini? YES
(Aw, thanks!)

-Do you think ___ would bail you out of jail? YES
(Think again)

-Do you think ____ wants to come out of the closet? NO

-Does ____ dress poorly? NO

-If you were being chased by a bear would you trip ____ to save your own life? NO

-Would you introduce ____ to your family? YES

-Do you think that ____ voted for Obama? YES

-Do you think ___ has good taste? YES

-Would you trust ____ with your life? YES

-Do you think that ____ has ever mooned someone? YES

-Do you think that ___ can do 20 pushups? NO

-Do you think that ___ needs to gain weight? NO

-Is ____ profile picture cute? YES

-Is ____ a cheap skate? NO

-Do you think ___ still sleeps with a teddy bear? YES

-Do you think ____ has ever watched someone undress secretly? NO

-Do you think ___ is trailer trash? NO

-Do you think you can beat ___ in a fight?
(Alright, who said that? hahaha)

-Do you think ____ has ever fantasized about you? NO

-Would you trust ___ with your life? YES

-Do you think that ____ has ever smoked? YES

-Do you think that ____ has ever prank called someone? YES

-Do you think that ____ has ever taken money for a bribe? NO

-Do you think that ____would bail you out of jail? YES
(What's wrong with these people? WHAT DID THEY DO?)

-Do you think ____ is cute? YES
(Well, I think you're cute too!)

-Do you think that ____ likes brownies? YES

-Do you think that ____ has bad breath? NO

-Does ____ have a nice body? YES

-Is _____ profile picture cute? YES

-Do you think that ____ can eat more than 3 Big Mac's at a time? NO

-Do you think that ____ has ever done anything that they're ashamed of? NO

-Do you think that ______ scored above a 1500 on the SAT's? YES
(I've never taken them...)

-Do you think that ____ is mean? NO

-Do you think that ____ has ever punched someone? YES

-Do you think that ____ has ever prank called someone? YES

-Do you think that ____ is cuter than Brad Pitt? YES
(Obviously a penis put that)

-Do you think that ____ has ever had stitches? YES

- Do you think that _____ likes to sing Karaoke? NO
(NO? REALLY... I love me some drunken karaoke!)

-Do you think that ____ should not wear tight clothing? NO

-Do you think that ____ is a good friend? YES

-Do you think that ____ needs to lose weight? NO

-Do you think that ____ has ever given someone a 'dutch oven' to someone? YES
(LOL, I'm a girl and girl's don't fart)

-Do you think _____ can drink a gallon of water? YES

-Do you think _____ sends too many facebook invites? NO

-Do you think _____ has ever had stitches? NO

-Do you think that _____ would ever betray you? NO

-Do you think _____ voted for Obama? NO

-Would you hook up with _____ ? YES

-Do you think _____ is cute? YES

-Does _____ have a nice smile? YES

-Do you think ____ is religious? NO

-Do you think that ____ would do anything to get what they want? NO

-Do you think _____ is hot? YES

-Do you think that _____ has ever had a crush on you? YES
(OK Mr. CockyMcConfidant Pants!)

-Do you think that _____ can actually hook up with someone out of their league? YES

-Do you think that ____ would ever betray you? NO

-Do you think that _____ is dumber than Jessica Simpson? NO

-Do you think that _____ would sell you out for a million bucks? YES
(Must be a family member :D)

-Do you think ____ looks good in a bathing suit?  YES

-Do you think _____ is socially awkward? NO

-Does ____ have a nice body? YES

-Do you think ____ would look good in a mini skirt? YES

-Do you think that ____ watches porn? YES

-Do you think ____ would lie for you? YES

-Do you think _____ is hot? YES

- Do you think ____ has blue eyes? YES
(Uh, no I do not)

-Do you think that ____ is hot? YES

-Do you think that ____ is a slacker? NO

-Do you think that _____ is cute? YES

-Do you think that ____ is cute? YES

-Do you think that _____ has ever cheated on a test? NO

-Do you think that _____ brushes their teeth regularly? YES

-Do you think that _____ is cute? YES

-Do you think that______ is a good friend? YES

-Do you think that _____ should have more self confidence? NO

-Do you think that _____ has ever gone to a strip club? YES

-Do you think that _____ has a funny looking nose? NO

-Do you think _____ dresses well? YES

-Do you think _____ sings Britney Spears aloud when no one is around? YES

-Do you think ______ is a jealous significant other? NO

-Do you think ____ would do anything to succeed? YES

-Do you think ____ has ever gone hunting? NO

-Do you think ____ needs to lose weight? NO

-Have you ever had a crush on ____? NO

-Do you think that _____ scored above a 1500 on the SAT's? NO

-Do you think that ____ has ever mooned someone? YES

-Do you think ____ is part of the 'mile high' club? YES
(I've been on a plane twice and I was to scared to go to the bathroom let alone spex in the bathroom)

-Do you think that _____ would do anything to succeed? YES
(OK there are two answers like that... what the hell do people think I am)
-Does ____ sing in the shower? NO

-Do you think ____ is hyper? NO

-Do you think _____ has ever been in a fist fight? NO

-Do you think that _____ wants to 'come out of the closet'? NO

-Would _____ ever dress up in a mascot outfit and run around? NO

-Do you think ____ is trailer trash? NO

-Do you think that ____ would ditch a date? NO

-Have you ever had a crush on ____? NO

-Do you think that _____ has ever given money to a homeless person? YES

-Would you want to see ____ dance like Michael Jackson for money? NO

-Do you think ____ is a jerk? NO

- Do you think ____ is part of the 'mile high' club? NO

-Do you think _____ has ever smoked? YES

-Do you think _____ could shoot someone if they had to? YES

-Do you think _____ 'plays with' themselves? YES

-Would you trust ____ with your life? YES

-Is _____ hyper? YES

-Do you think _____ is greedy? NO

-Do you think _____ would pull a fire alarm as a prank? YES

-Do you think that _____ has ever fantasized about you? NO

-Do you think that _____ cried while watching the Titantic? NO

-Do you think that _____ is selfish? NO

-Do you think that _____ looks good in a bathing suit? YES

-Do you think that _____ has ever gone to a strip club? NO
-Do you think that _____ is a good friend? YES

-Do you think _____ is socially awkward? NO

-Do you think _____ can cook? YES

-Do you think _____ has ever smoked? YES

-Do you think _____ brushes their teeth regularly? YES

-Does ____ sing in the shower? YES

-Does ____ have a deep dark secret? YES
-Do you think _____ has ever lied to avoid a date? YES

-Do you think that _____ let's the 'yellow mellow'? NO

-Do you think that _____ would let you cheat off their paper during a test? NO

-Do you think that _____ still wet their bed in the 6th grade? YES

-Do you think _____ dresses well? YES

-Do you think that ____ has ever kissed a girl? NO

-Is _____ fun to be around? YES

-Do you think _____ has bad breath? NO

-Would you introduce ____ to your family? YES

-Would _____ make a good spouse? YES

-Has _____ ever played beer pong? NO
(What?? AM i up for sainthood?)

-Do you think _____ could be a gangster? NO

-Do you think _____ has ever picked their nose in public? NO

-Do you think _____ needs to lose weight? NO

-Do you think that _____ has ever skipped out on a tab? YES

-Do you think _____ is a slacker? NO

-Do you think that ____ thinks wine in a box is classy? NO
(psh... uh yeah I do)

-Is ____ a cheap skate? NO

-Do you think that _____ could be a gangster? NO

-Do you think _____ is funny? YES

And there you have it... 
What can we surmise from this...
apparently, I couldn't be a gangster... I look good in bikini and I would secretly fart in public
The jury is out on whether I'm a part of the mile high club. 
HAHA oh boy.

Friday, February 10, 2012

The Year for Me?

Somedays, I get bummed... but there's no one or nothing that can do that to you except yourself.
I'm in control of my emotions... I got a 3,000$ medical bill today that sort of bothered me
There are things in my life that are out of my control - more things than I can count but I can still give it away, those feelings I don't have to carry them with me.

I need to start forging along and working on me... not waiting on things to happen, making them happen with that being said...

I've got stuff to do.

Thursday, February 9, 2012

Traveling and Being Good At It

So, other than traveling to my hometown I haven't taken any trips in the past two years. That being said I have gone "home" about a bajillion times. Through these exploits I've learned a lot about traveling and things you should and SHOULD NOT do, especially with two children.

Lemme Break it down for y'all:


  • Keep your guest bath stocked with travel sizes so you are prepared for either house guests or your departure (whichever comes first)
  • Make a list of EVERYTHING you will need and break it down (yourself, kids, things you need to do before you go)
  • Pack everything you can the day before. For obvious reasons don't pack your toiletries yet. 
  • Get those plastic spoons for kids and take your host (unless you're staying in a hotel) paper plates so that they don't have to feel the burden of your dishes.
  • Pack some non-perishables
  • If you are traveling with a baby this is like a special exception:
  1. See if someone will either loan you a highchair or a feeding setup or something
  2. Pack Diapers / Wipes don't rely on buying them once you get there especially if it's over the holidays because more than likely places won't be open
  3. Make sure you make special provisions for baby to eat and sleep comfortably, traveling is so hard on them and they get out of their routine which makes them cranky and miserable
  • Take a playpen
  • Make sure your kids have "special things" so that they can feel comfortable. Whether it's a blanket or a toy
  • Eat well - traveling can confuse your system
  • Remember to pack your vitamins
  • And last but not least make sure that your toiletries are separate from your other things, if god forbid something explodes, leaks, decides it's going to shit all over your expedition you can probably wash it all of
  • Don't assume people will have what you need as far as Towels, Blankets, Pillows
  • Let the people you care to see (if you are visiting a place with friends) know in advance so that they can make the arrangements to see you
  • Don't go to someone's house and LIVE there, you are always a guest and they are letting you stay so be respectful
  • Don't pack everything a week in advance only to realize that you need something and :gasp: don't know which bag it's in.
  • Don't tell your kids you're going anywhere until the day before or the day of because they will bug you ... for real
  • Don't cheap out on luggage! It's a good thing to have! Never know
Okay, so that's my take on it. 
I've gotten really good at sleeping other places throughout my life but sometimes I feel like I'm a little too old for couch sleeping so if you want to pack an air mattress - pack away... keep in mind though that if they have cats that air mattress won't have air in it for long.

There's also a level of beurocracy particularly when you are visiting family. People want to see you and you are the one traveling it is impossible for one person to see everyone so that means that they need to make some effort. If they don't be honest with them... tell them you've done most of the traveling for them and if they can't make it around to see you it isn't your fault at all. It's hard to divide your time evenly with only a few days to spend and it feels awful to have to snub people but alas things work both ways. 


Monday, February 6, 2012



Being Nice and Thoughts

The past year has been one of crazy developments and not so quiet reflection.
I've let people into my life and I've let people go.
Throughout it all has been one consistent thing -  my feeling of duty to people.

Sometimes I do what's best for everyone else and sacrifice my own ambitions / aspirations / desires for the good of the "unit".

While this is great it isn't really helping improve my overall moral, if I don't look out for me I've found that no one does. It's part of the reason I started this blog, to have something that's mine where I can put out whatever information I want and then backtrack on how effective I'm being as a human.

My kids from the moment they were a part of my life have been #1 and that will never change. Their needs outweigh mine 100 fold and so I try to prioritize accordingly. There are things that arise that make you question though, if I were to be happier wouldn't that possibly make me a better parent?
And there you have your problem... at what point does the sacrifice stop?
At what point do you say we're going to just have to make a change or even a leap and we'll be OK because I know myself well enough to trust my heart.

Life is about choices, we are bound by them and they redirect the sails on our boats but if the boat is going from point A to point B regardless does it all really matter? I don't believe in "free will" or I should say I think that "free will" and "destiny" are one in the same... you can keep pushing through but your inevitable fate will find you regardless.

Life can surely be scary and when you don't fully trust yourself it can be even more terrifying.
There is a term in Japanese Tatemae it literally translates to the word form. But it's used in the context of belief in public views. You may say publically that you agree with something but privately you feel differently. They use the term Honne for the views we acknowledge privately. It speaks volumes about how fascinating people really are. We live in the shadows of our dreams most of the time and it's constantly befuddling how far we let ourselves become detached from who we really are just to appear different for the sake of... well, often only ourselves.

Check back a little later, I painted a birdhouse.

What's in Store

So, we've been in the process of slowly transitioning financially, things change and that is that. So, I'm going way, way cheap on V-day and I'm just totally skipping Steve's birthday. That may sound terrible but the only reason I really do anything at all is so that I don't feel guilty. He doesn't care, at all. We're not traditional, not in that sense and not in any sense really so. That's taken care of.

I'm planning on doing some crafts with the girls for V-day like making some hearts and possibly this and then writing in it with them things that we love and are glad that we have in our lives. Maybe some cookie baking... not sure on that though.

Other than that, planning a trip to PA to do Christmas with my family.
Also, went to the movies and saw and without giving you are review or anything I will tell you the most entertaining part were the two teenage boys in front of me who were so scared that they LEFT... and came back after the "scare" part was over. Someone said "man I am scared, next year I am watching the superbowl."

Friday, February 3, 2012

Buzz Blogging / Annoying People

I have had 3+ beers and so I dedicate this blog to all the people and habits people have that annoy me.
I try to stay upbeat and positive so I'm allowing myself this blog because no one will read it.

  • Talking way too much
  • Oversharing on FB (I annoy myself with that one)
  • People that refuse to breastfeed
  • Tailgating
  • Not offering to help people with things you can clearly see they are struggling with
  • Women that are totally comfortable and love being photographed
  • Most Women
  • Ugly Women at good angles
  • Drunk Driving
  • Excuses
  • Ignoring People
  • Spitting
  • Cursing A LOT
  • Intolerance
  • Narrow Minded- ness
  • Negativity
Well, that may wrap it up.
I must be pretty insecure, there's a lot of stuff in there about other women.

Mom Style

There was a time in my life when I was into clothes... like seriously into clothes. When we moved to Alexandria, VA in 2006 we rented an L-Shaped Studio apartment... in essence an L-Shaped box. 150 sq. ft. of that was my closet... yes, yes it was. I needed it to. I had some of the ugliest and timeliest clothes that have ever existed.

Then you have kids and you try to incorporate this stuff into your life or at least I did. It felt silly and trivial. I felt like I had got past that, that superficial side of myself. I was too damn tired to care. But then you go to the grocery store and you see these women that have it together, they have heels and dresses and makeup and perfect hair and a child next to them. This is where you stop, look closely and decide that you will just pretend you didn't see that (She was just the nanny right?).

My wardrobe is infinitely different these days... sweatpants, pajama pants (ashamed to say), yoga pants, and t's all day everyday. There just isn't a reason to look all hot when you're changing diapers all day. But now my kids are both getting to an age where things are less hectic. I'm afforded the time to sit at my computer for five hours a day because they are interested in things other than me. I should say sometimes because I mean there are days when they love mom to death and need to prove it. But I don't feel like I have an excuse to look like a scrub anymore... and I need to start buying nice clothes.

My wardrobe will never be the way it was because I've learned lessons. Less is more... keep it simple. Don't buy fads... leave that to the tweenys. Athletic-wear can be hot, I know because the guys at the grocery check me out. If you're gonna do color, do it right. Have some fun pieces but streamline your things to what you know you like and you KNOW you will wear.

Thursday, February 2, 2012

On a not light note

I'm going to write a post here because basically I want to share without having to share. I haven't told many people only close family and very close friends.Topics have been coming up lately about me having another baby. I joke.. I say things like "Factories Closed" but the truth is that very few people know the reason.
Last year, I had a pretty severe miscarriage. Seriously, not one of those oh I had some cramps and then magically wasn't pregnant anymore... it was more like spotting from week 8 and then week 11 BAM. I'm not going to TMI on here but it was gory... and scary. The worst part is that I was entirely alone in an emergency room knowing just what was happening. One of the worst things that's ever happened to me in my life and I basically suffered in silence.

The after math was probably worse. I hadn't told anyone that I was spotting that knew I was pregnant so I had to go home and tell everyone what happened. I amassed a lot of debt. I lost tons of blood and was on iron for three months.

Statistically what happened to me was rare. I had two very healthy pregnancies and your chances of having a healthy baby increases with each pregnancy so my body was saying it wasn't right, that something wasn't right.  I had a sono at 9 weeks and there was a baby with a heartbeat. The Radiologist said that it appeared there may be pleural effusion.. but my OB insisted that at that early in the pregnancy you couldn't tell something like that. They didn't know exactly what happened when it was all over. This is the worst because it opens up the doors to GUILT.

I don't know what's in the future for me, but at this time. NO PEOPLE I DON"T WANT ANOTHER BABY. I will however, gladly hold yours or even babysit. I have a picture from the sonogram and I hide it and once in a while when I feel really self destructive I get it out.

My due date was 11/11/11